As featured in:
Problems With Your Child's School or Services?
As featured in:
Problems With Your Child's School or Services?
Posted at 01:00 AM in Advocacy, Community Organizing, My Podcasts, My Videos, Special Education | Permalink | Comments (0)
Technorati Tags: advocacy, advocate, autism, disability, special education, special needs
Posted at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted at 10:45 PM in My Videos, Special Education | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted at 10:43 PM in My Videos, Special Education | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted at 10:36 PM in My Videos | Permalink | Comments (0)
I had an interesting IEP meeting today. It was for a Spanish-speaking couple. Needless to say there were MANY barriers that the family had to wade through, from bvious language and cultural barriers, but also with the entire committee just being in complete defense-mode because the parents were asking…for basic things, such as time to read the paperwork, clarification on items, why their child needed to be included (LRE issues) and so on and so forth. I’d venture to say they hadn’t been challenged that much before, especially by a non-English speaking family. There was much argument over IEP goals and evaluations and placement, in addition to a he-said/she-said regarding previous meetings. It was a reconvene meeting and I hadn’t been in the previous disagreement meeting.
As an advocate, my job at these meetings is to make sure the parent is being heard. And that the parent understands their rights. My job is also to facilitate agreement and if that can’t happen, to make sure that parents’ concerns are documented along the way. But I had to call a time-out at one point (and this was after 3 special ed administrators downtown were called) to clarify what the parents wanted and WHY they were asking all these questions of the school district. They wanted their son to grow up, have friends, have a job, live independently. That was really it—isn’t that what we ALL want? It was at that point that the eye-rolling stopped (from my clients’ end and the districts’ end—they were BOTH guilty) and we got some serious work done. And came to consensus My client is on his way at his school. And so are the parents and the school.
The parents just wanted to be heard, to be understood, and to NOT be seen as problem parents because they just wanted their son to learn and grow up and be productive. That's it. But many, many things kept that from happening in previous meetings, and communication had been at a standstill. All because the focus had gotten off the child. I'm sure you've heard of putting out a picture of your child at the beginning of an IEP meeting--to keep the focus on the child and not personalities.
Despite the nature of the disability or special education services, all parents really want is for their child to be accepted in a school community that truly supports them and gets them.
It got me thinking of what I’ve done in lots of meetings, mediations, hearings, to keep things going. What’s the worst thing you’ve done in a meeting for your child? The best? How did you get the focus back to what you REALLY wanted?
Posted at 09:59 PM in Advocacy, Special Education | Permalink | Comments (0)
Technorati Tags: disabilities, disability, education, IEP, special education
I recently had a very difficult IEP meeting. But unlike my normal work weeks, this wasn’t an IEP meeting for a client, this was for MY child.
My son had been doing well and all of a sudden was not, due to developmental delays. It was something that could be addressed both in the community and in the school (and therefore in IEP goals and services). In addition to worrying about his IEP meeting, I had to move homes that week. I ALSO had to plan and organize a Thanksgiving dinner for adult clients with disabilities. Then there was participating in my family Thanksgiving. And we all know how stressful that can be...
For my son's IEP meeting, I gathered the forces—that would be my many advocate friends. I also conducted much research, paperwork, phone calls, interviews, even enlisted community agencies. I was blessed to have Sandee Winkelman participate in my IEP meeting. Winkelman is a Ohio parent advocate who'd taken her own child's case to the Supreme Court in her state--and won. (If you haven't heard my interview with Sandee, you should).
Even with all of that help—and with my ex-husband and I on the same page (and if you follow me you know that’s not always the case as we navigate our daily interactions and differences in parenting a child with special needs) it was still difficult. I knew there were things our son needed that were difficult for the school to understand and I had to prepare myself for that. All while going about my daily work and living and parenting activities.
I’m not going to go into details of the prep involved. My son’s IEP changed to what was needed for him and for us as parents. It took a lot out of me: one client told me that she had never heard me that tired, that I’d always had so much energy, which is my claim to fame, really.
The point of me writing this for other parents—for YOU—is that it was hard, even for me, an advocate who’s been doing this a decade and more, if you count my women’s advocacy days before special education work. I was on edge for days before and after the IEP meeting went home and went right to sleep, thanks to my ex-husband's assistance. I slept for 14 hours straight. Unlike previous years, I wasn’t stressed when I woke up, I didn't think about the immense toll it had taken on me and my body. I was actually grateful to have had those 14 hours to myself. It’s remembering those gifts that keep us sane when school meetings take things out of us. When friends or family say things about our child that are supposed to be helpful but are instead hurtful. When our children are different at a friend's dinner table.
As a special ed advocate, I absolutely understand what you’re going through with your own child and send you the best, always. -gpw
Posted at 07:22 PM in Advocacy | Permalink | Comments (6)
I don't really blog so much as I micro blog (see my Twitter for that!). But because so many parents have contacted me about my thoughts on special ed related matters, I will do so for you. As an advocate, it's important to remember that it's constant case management and constant work for your child. It's also managing different relationships and people in the school district: one of my clients yesterday called me about an administrator who was being great with them, has learned about the particular disability, and is positive about their child. All of this is GREAT! Except the fact that the special ed teacher, their son's case manager, was NOT ensuring the IEP was being followed, was not following through with other teachers.
This goes back to what I continue telling parents: it's our job to case manage our children! I don't like it, I have a million other things to do, but it's what we HAVE to do to ensure children like ours are well-taught in the public school system. I speak more about case management in the upcoming "Special Ed Case Management for Busy Parents", but until then, don't forget that this is your role if you are dealing with special education. It's up to you to monitor and guide the parties around your child's education, and yes, you can do it. If I didn't think you could, I wouldn't be writing this now, I'd have given up a LONG time ago and gotten into an easier profession! But I have seen many parents who have come from not understanding the special ed system or not wanting to deal with it (avoidance is a great way of coping, guys!) to being kick-ass advocates for their kids. And you can, too.
And those clients who called me yesterday? Well, they've already spoken to the administrator and are on a plan of action to get that case manager off her butt and working. ;)
Posted at 12:59 PM in Advocacy, Special Education | Permalink | Comments (0)